Many people think they've achieved this. Think that all they had to do was chuck a backpack on their back and walk around in shorts with zippers on them. But in real life, becoming the cliché takes a lot more hard work than anyone truly appreciates. I myself have never been able to fully achieve this, but in an attempt to help those greater than me who may be up for the challenge, I have written the following.
The bag: No suitcases for you! You need a backpack, man! This should have originally cost more than your camera, but if it's value is even close to that now, you're not working hard enough. This backpack will be yours for at least the next fifteen years, so treat it well, but make sure it's still been through a lot. It should demonstrate to anyone who even glances at it that you're a serious traveller. It should have been mended at least twice. It should have traces of mud from South East Asia. Motor oil stains from Russia. It should have things written on it in marker by inconsiderate baggage handlers in Colombia. It should have a flag sewn into it (not from your home country... that would just mark you as another tourist... ugh). And most of all, it should have the sweat marks from your back permanently staining it.
The shoes: Teva sandles, man. Nothing else will do. No sneakers, no heals, no pretty little ballet flats or dress shoes. Just a sturdy pair of sandles and the bold tan lines to match them. Get it? Got it? Good.
The clothes: The shorts with zippers should go without saying. Upon first leaving your home country (otherwise known as “that backward, internalised country with no thought to its international reputation”) you should bring band tshirts or ones with weird artwork on them. Whilst overseas, though, you need to start collecting beer singlets. Not just standard ones from overdeveloped industrial nations, but real local ones that you'll have to explain to everyone you meet (even if they never asked).
The hair: Go with dreads and suddenly you change from Uber Backpacker to Hippie, so avoid that. What you want to do is have one or two colourful braids put in by helpful street kids to whom you'll cheerfully give away your western cash. No hairbands and bobby pins if it gets in your face, but you can get a rainbow coloured scarf or turban to keep it back.
Accessories: “It's called a keffiyeh and I wear it to support Palestine, actually.”
Conversation topics: Much like the friendly hipster or the suffering uni student, your options for conversation are lacking. However, you may talk about all the unusual and “untainted” places you've travelled to (read: travel wanking), as well as the literature that inspired you to travel as a teenager, the plight of refugees and the amazon, and the tragedy that is the tourist.
Hope this helps you all! Good luck in your quests to become the Uber Backpacker. Remember: There Can Only Be One!
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