The Patriot Virus

The patriot virus exists in many forms around the world. There are soldiers, housewives, creepy extremists, sports fans, primary schoolers and everything in between. Most people have a least some pride in their country (even if it's just happiness that you have nice weather) but for some reason, travel brings this out in a whole new way.

You can have as many issues with your country as you want. You can hate the government, you can wish your hometown was more lively, in fact: you can get outraged over any cause you like. But as soon as you step off the plane and onto foreign soil; you come from the best dang country in the world! Your morals are not completely compromised, of course. You don't change your mind about any of your preexisting opinions, but once you meet someone from another nationality, Australia/Britain/America/France/Name-Your-Home-Country-Here immediately becomes paradise on earth. The best place in the world to live! You're thinking about travelling there? Oh, you definitely should, it has so much to offer visitors!

God help anyone who talks bad your homeland in your presence.

This strange travel bug presents its strongest strain in groups of three or more young men. With these sufferers, it moves on to cringeworthy and dangerous extremes. These youthful representatives embarrass their fellow countrymen with open and loud declarations of their country's greatness. They ridicule the country they're in and any other foreigners they encounter. “You're French? You're french! Guy's it's a frog!”

[Side note to the lads: this kind of behaviour is not going to help your attempts to “bang a local”]

At its worst (I know, I didn't think it could get worse either) the virus may even become lethal. The sufferers are prone to fights, both verbal and physical. Should they encounter another group of young, male sufferers from a different country? Maiming ensues.

This of course is something to be avoided at all costs, but in it's simplest form; the patriot virus can be quite helpful. Belief in the greatness of one's own country helps foster homesickness and will convince the wayward traveller of the need to eventually return home. You're welcome, Mum and Dad.