People I want to take on holidays with me

5. Marieke Hardy
Because she is the shizzle. And super, super awesome in a variety of ways. And she writes very clever tv shows. Okay, so in reality I've got no idea if she'd make a good travel companion, but as my personal idol (marry me?) she earns a spot on this list anyway. We all owe our idols at least that much. Bare minimum, she'd be great to get drunk with.


4. Daniel Radcliffe
No, no, I'm not a 13 year old girl in disguise, but I have to admit this series always brings out the inner geek in me (don't judge me... or at least, not too harshly). The idea of travelling the world with "Harry Potter" ticks a couple of awesome boxes in terms of ridiculous sounding stories I could later tell. Plus, have you heard the guy sing? I can't imagine better partner for hostel karaoke nights. Plus, he's tiny! We could probably fit him in one of the suitcases. He'd be like the trip mascot or something.


3. Bono
Okay, so he might end up being a bit of a downer, what with all the constant talk about starving people and he might get jealous of Daniel's awesome singing (and mine, of course) but hey, he'd still be a great one to take along. What with the meaningful volunteer work with private jets to fly in and out, who wouldn't want to hang out with him? You get to live a life of total luxury and still feel good about yourself (in a "must be patronising to everybody else" kind of way). Win.


2. George Orwell
Okay so he's long dead, but I think the idea of a world circumferencing jaunt with him is just about as likely as one with Bono. Heck, let's take Hemingway, too. Proving Georgie's predictions of the future wrong would probably be very satisfying (although considering the state of the globe, he'd probably just change the title to 2084 and stick with the same story) and if there was ever a guy who knew the ins and outs of Paris and London, this would be him. 


1. David Attenborough
Now admit it, as soon as you read his name, you knew I was on to the best idea ever! This dude is awesome. His accent is adorable, he certainly travels enough to be used to the hardships, and he knows everything about flora and fauna. Hiking trips would never be the same again. Need another reason? Well, he is getting old (was he ever not old?) and if there was ever a perfect way to give David Attenborough a last hurrah: a nice holiday without video cameras sounds perfect. What I'm trying to say is that I'm totally not bringing him along just to ask him to narrate everything back to me. Totally not. I would never! I'm just a nice person, you know?


(Apparently I would also like to take my boyfriend because he is being a little girl and crying about me not wanting to take him on holidays. Don't worry so much, sweetie, I absolutely love you and all that wussy stuff. Totally.)