5 Things to know before moving overseas

There comes a day when your world isn't big enough for you. When you look at your friends and family and think pssh, you're all replaceable. When you decide financial security is overrated and awesome stories for future children are far more important than finding someone to settle down with and make these future children. It's on that day that you make the decision to uproot your life and relocate half way round the world. 

Or, you know, maybe you have other reasons to move like work or study or an internet boyfriend. All totally valid reasons and I truly support you! Sort of. 

As some of you may know, I just moved back to Australia again. I've lived in the UK for a couple of years, but it was well and truly time to return. Moving to Australia was outrageously complicated but given that I've now done this kind of move twice, I think I'm in a unique position to share some wisdom. So here are the top five things you need to know before you move overseas. 

1. Visas are essential. Whoever told you that you'd find work there without one or you could overstay without consequence and other such bullshit was lying to you. If you do this, you'll be working for below minimum wage and as soon as you try to leave again you'll get slapped with a ban on re-entering the country. And that will then effect applications to live in different countries. Just fork out for the damn visa. 

2. New friends are not as easy to acquire as you'd think. You might be great and making new friends in hostels but if you're hoping to replace your group of gal pals from back home immediately; prepare for a struggle. Half the reason it's so easy to make friends in hostels is because you're usually not stuck hanging out with someone for more than a few days.  Meaning you never have to find out if they hate indy music, steal compulsively or voted for Tony Abbott. 

Longer term friends are harder to find. Lean on any existing connections and new flatmates, befriend your coworkers, find an expat group and try and hang out in areas where folks speak the same language as you (and I mean that both literally and figuratively). 

3. Moving overseas is no reason to give up on a real job. Yeah, yeah, bar work is easy and fun and gives you plenty of time to explore your new environment, but you know what also helps with travel plans? Money. Find a real job based off your real experience. Save up, apply for unpaid leave (or give notice if you're confident you could find a new job with ease) and then travel your new country. Bar work is for backpackers, not expats. Unless your new country is going through the recession still in which case take what you can get and suck it up. 

4. Utilize social media. Yeah, yeah, you're too cool for facebook these days and twitter is for tweens, but social media is hands down the best way to keep up to date on people's lives back home. And keep them up to date (and jealous) of yours. Face it, you are going to be desperately lonely and depressed. Make yourself feel better by looking at all the lame-arses with their home-owning and families and happiness. 

Losers. 

5. Be prepared to feel very, very conflicted. Some days you will long desperately for home. Some days you will never want to return. You will hate your new country and its shit weather. You will love the atmosphere and how different it is. One day you will kind of make up your mind and either move back (like I've just done) or apply for a longer visa/residency. You will never, ever be 100% convinced of whatever decision you've made. Life's tricky. Just try to remember, you've got it better than most. 

Bratislava kewlz

Something about Bratislava is just essentially cool. It's not effortlessly cool. No, everything around you shows you that Bratislava is trying way too hard, but somehow it succeeds all the same. One of the perks of having an online travel blog is that I get to share awesome stuff like this with the world. So here's some things that lifted my luggage. 

• Bratislava street art is a bizarre love triangle of Banksy-esque stencils, daring acts of upper-storey balance and defiantly confusing English. The graffiti is that awesome kind of meaninglessness that actually makes you think.
  Seriously, is that a truth about gorilla? It's like freaking Huckabees, man. How am I not myself?

• The tram tickets are for man or dog. And I thought it was weird being asked to buy a ticket for my bike. 

• People aren't afraid to be tourists. 

The language is impossible so blending in is not an option. Own it! 

Popular tourist scams for backpackers to be aware of

Ah, the good old-fashioned Tourist Scam. Fun aren't they. Most backpackers are sensible, wary folks but if you're a new traveller or just generally having bad luck you can fall victim to one of these very quickly. 

If you do plan on backpacking, especially if you plan to travel to Thailand, it's important to be aware of the tourist scams you may face. So, for both amusement and advice, here are a couple of the popular ones you may encounter and will hopefully now know to avoid. 

The "It's closed for lunch/naps/prayer" scam (popular in Thailand)

Upon approaching one of the main sites in Bangkok (most commonly the Grand Palace), you will probably start to hear this phrase a lot from "helpful" locals. Someone will ask what you're heading towards and upon being advised they will tell you it's currently closed. But never fear, they can help you! You can go visit a few other sites instead and it will only cost you 20 baht for the Tuk Tuk! Wonderful! Not so much. If you get in this Tuk Tuk, you will instead be driven well out of town to visit a gem shop or tailor for a lengthy sales pitch. 

Key things to watch out for: The phrases "Happy Buddha Temple" and "Sleepy Buddha Temple", 20 baht Tuk Tuk rides (never in a million years) and of course "It's Closed!"

The "Can I take your photo?" scam (popular in Europe and particularly Rome) 

An "oldy but a goody" scam that's been updated to keep up with the times. Someone posing as a fellow tourist will offer to help you out by taking your picture for you in front of whatever monument you're visiting. They'll then take off with your camera. Simple, right? It's making a comeback at the moment in many places. 

Key things to watch out for: Fellow "tourists" carrying very, very cheap, disposable cameras. 

The "Money and Passport" scam (popular everywhere - currently big in Vienna) 

A pair or group of police officers will ask to see your passport and money. They then examine it and return it to you, minus half your cash. Refuse? Threats of fines and arrest. The best solutions is offering to walk with them to a police station or threatening to scream loud for actual police. They'll let you be on your way.

Key things to watch out for: This should be obvious. If they want to see your passport and money? They're not real police. Real undercover police officers in "plain clothes" will have better things to do than stop tourists for ID. 

The "Donation" scam (popular everywhere) 

Oh god, this one. You can even get done by this in your home country. Someone will approach you on the street, in a bar, etc and ask for a donation for a charity. The reason it works is that we all feel too awkward and rude to check whether or not the charity actually exists. It's almost always bogus. If you want to be a good person, donate to registered charities via their websites or do a general donation to Amnesty or Oxfam.

Key things to watch out for: a person actively targeting tourists (real charities avoid tourists) or a sign-on sheet showing what other people have donated as a "guide."

The "Wrong Ticket" scam (popular in European metro stations)

This one's difficult to anticipate or avoid as it's usually done by actual station staff. When heading for an exit, you'll be stopped by security and asked for your ticket. You'll then be told it's the wrong ticket or invalid for travel and told there's an on-the-spot fine. Even worse, they'll often not speak English but just say "wrong ticket" and just tap a sign. The fine is usually 40 euros. This is exactly what happens when you do have the wrong ticket so it's sometimes difficult to know if you're being scammed or are actually in the wrong. 

Key things to watch out for: Nothing, unfortunately. Best thing to do is be super careful when buying your ticket and remember to validate it. If you know you're right, stand your ground. 

Dealing with transport strikes in Europe

This post has been inspired by the recent one-day transport strike in Nice, France, which my fellow backpackers and I were stuck trying to deal with. Anyone who has travelled in Europe (France in particular) will know that this is a fairly common occurance. Strikes and protests are a European way of life. However, in the spirit of chillaxing and just dealing-with-it, I thought I'd try and offer some tips.

Getting around, rescheduling plans and navigating foreign destinations automatically become trickier when a strike happens, but you can still make the most of it and work around it. If you know one is coming in advance, it may be worth rearranging your travel to fall on the day before or after, especially if it's just a small local trip. If this isn't possible, there are a few things you can do. 

Upon arriving at the train station/bus depot: find the staff member near the entrance who has been given the hellish job of advising travellers of the strike. Have pity on this poor soul. Usually there's an alternate timetable for the day and this person should be able to advise you of which services will still run. Typically I've found they keep about a third of services going. 

Ticket machines will usually still let you book tickets for trains that aren't actually running so find out what the "strike timetable" is first. If you've accidentally booked a ticket for a train/bus that's been cancelled, go to the counter. Usually they will exchange it free of charge for one of the alternately scheduled trains. If there aren't any, you can usually get a refund but only by being polite. They will not give you your money back if you're rude or angry but instead will just be rude back. They're having a bad day, too. 

Be prepared for long waits and crowds. With limited services it means there will be a large number of travellers, all trying to get on at the same time. Be ready for this. Once you've sat around for an hour waiting for your train, get ready to be at the front of the crowd so you can rush onto the train first. It truly sucks to be one of the few left behind on the platform when it's full.

Finally, I can only advise patience. Be prepared for a wait, have a bottle of water at hand and accept that this isn't going to be the relaxed day you thought it would. Things will almost certainly work themselves out in the end. 

See Paris - Itineraries for 1, 2 and 4 days

Good gracious, another trip to Paris. This makes three for me! A quick survey of native Parisians with my appallingly limited French has revealed that no, this does not make me "as good as a local" and I should know better than to suggest it. Ah, the shame. But anyway, here are three suggested itineraries for one, two and four day visits.

One day

Paris in a day! Are you mad? What kind of foolish traveller gives themselves only a day in the city of lights? You idiot. But here, to make it easier for your poor, stupid self: an itinerary that will help you hit all the basics.

Start at Notre Dame in the morning before the crowd arrives. It's free to enter but you do have to pay to go up the tower. You don't have time, though, so this will be a cheap stop-off. Take Metro Line 4 south: you're off to the catacombs next! Tour the catacombs and enjoy the slightly macabre remains of 6 million Parisians (tip: it's half price if you're under 26 but pay the extra for an audio-guide as the only English signs in the ossuary are quite boring and uninformative). Once you exit, grab a snack on your way back to the station.

Take the train back the way you came but this time get off at Saint Germain. This is Paris' famous Latin District and is filled with Paris' most well-to-do and trendy citizens. Wander through the streets in any order you like so long as you're walking in the general direction of the Seine. Provided you haven't gotten too lost you should come out somewhere opposite the Louvre. You can cross the river to take a picture in front of the pyramid if you like but you're not going in. No time for that, my friend! 

Continue east along the river, taking in the sites or take the metro if it's rainy. You will come past the Musee D'Orsay, the Louvre's smaller but equally amazing little sister. This you do have time for, should you choose. Don't give yourself more than 2 hours, though. Once finished, continue east and you'll eventually come to the Eiffel Tower. If you've timed everything well, you may be lucky enough to have arrived in time for sunset (note: it still takes time to queue and get up). Head on up the Eiffel Tower and take in the views. Your feet will be aching but this is your last stop so relax. Your time in Paris is done.

Two days

Ah, slightly better than our foolish friend. You, my dear, will have time to relax and take in the joys of Paris. But only a little bit!

Your first day starts the same. Head to Notre Dame and take in the wonder. You do have time to go up the tower if you so choose, but it's optional. Take the metro to the catacombs and take your time wandering through them. On the way back, stop at Saint Germain. Here you will find the famous Le Deux Magots, a street-side cafe/bar. Nab a table facing the road and purchase a tea or coffee. This isn't going to be your cheapest stop-off as the cheapest drinks are at least €5 but the people-watching and atmosphere are worth it. Should you choose and if you have the budget, head on into Saint Germain's many designer boutiques and get yourself something special. Go on, my treat.

Jump back on the train and head north towards Montmartre and the famous Sacré-Coeur await. The view of Paris from here cannot be matched even by the Eiffel Tower so it's well worth the climb. Settle in and watch the sunset. If you head back into town you can find plenty of restaurants and shouldn't struggle. If you can afford it and it's your sort of thing it may be worth reserving this evening to see a cabaret show at Moulin Rouge. They run at 9pm and 11pm but cost over €100 and require advanced booking. I've never had the money to do this, so I've no comment on whether it's worth it.

Day two starts with art. You, unlike our foolish friend above, do have time to go to the Louvre today. The other options are Musee D'orsay (for classics) or the Pompidou (modern art). If fine art's not your thing, it may be worth heading towards Moulin Rouge instead and taking a cheeky trip through the Sex Museum. Fair warning, it gets kinkier/weirder on each floor as you go up. Make your choice wisely and make your way there. Once you're out, if you've not eaten already, find one of Paris' many crepe/ice cream or coffee stands and grab yourself a snack. A late lunch may be in order and in this case I'd recommend seeking out a sandwich or some other takeaway and eating in one of the nearby parks. Should you choose, you can make your way to the Arc du Triumph and buy an ice cream there while you snap your photos.

Your last stop is the Eiffel Tower. Head on up and, as we modern folks all do, check yourself in on Facebook. Expect many likes. If you didn't choose the cabaret show yesterday you may have budget for the restaurant at the top of the tower but this again needs to be booked well in advance and may cost you a whole bundle of cash. Either way, so ends your trip to Paris.

Four Days

Ah, bien fait! You've made a wise choice, my traveller chum. Life for you will be sweet. Four days is just about right for Paris and will give you enough time to see everything without feeling rushed.

Have a relaxed start on day one before heading out towards Paris' big hitter, the Eiffel Tower. Have a wander around the Champ de Mars first, taking in the amazing views down the park and looking up at the tower. Once bored, go join the queue for the tower lifts or, if you're feeling very fit, try walking up the tower. Take your time at the top and absorb the views. Jump on the metro to the Latin Quarter (St Germain) and take in some lunch in any of the dozens of cafes. Make your way to the beautiful Eglise Saint Sulpice (the pretty church) and take some time to absorb before walking back towards the Seine to see Notre Dame.

Day two is your “indoor” day so if you know it's going to rain on one of your days in Paris, maybe reschedule to fit this around it. Start at the Catacombs as early as possible (10am opening) to avoid the queue. Make sure you know what you're looking for as the building isn't well sign posted and without the usually huge queue it's a little tricky to spot. Finish at the catacombs and head to the Louvre. Make sure you grab a snack before you go as food inside is expensive. The Louvre really will take up the rest of your day, even if you're not a major art fan. If it's not your thing, it might be best to pick up one of the activities from another day and slot that in here instead.

On the third day, head out to Versailles and enjoy a day out of the city. The train gets you there for only €3.30 and if you're lucky enough to be an EU citizen or long-term EU resident (anything more than 6 months, but bring evidence – my two year visa for the UK was good enough) you get free entry! Wonderful! Tour the palace first, then head out to the gardens and wander about. Top tip: bring a snack as you won't find anything cheap. If it's a warm day it'll be worth splurging for a can of drink or an ice cream.

On your final day, start your day with more art and pick either the Musée D'Orsay or the Pompidou. Follow this with a river cruise on the Seine for a wonderfully relaxing break in your day and a chance to glimpse any attractions you've missed. If you've got the time, wander down to the Luxembourg Gardens before finishing up by taking the metro up to Montmartre and climbing your way up. Sacré-Coeur is your final visit and the views should give you a spectacular end to your time in Paris. Enjoy the ambiance and thank me later. 

Packing tips for backpackers- top five things to remember

Now I may be wrong (and correct me if I am) but I think it may have been a little while since I last posted. The truth is I've been a bit domesticated. One of those young layabouts who keeps a steady job, a consistent social life and knows the current plot arcs on all the popular tv shows. Shameful, I know.

But I'm back! And travelling again! Life will have meaning once more! With my UK visa expiring shortly, I'll be doing the long trip back to Australia soon but before I go, I just have to take some time to run off 'round Europe. Who knows when the chance will come again?

So that's September's plan, a jaunt around the continent, skipping across boarders and navigating the train system like a freaking boss. My interrail ticket has arrived, I've stocked up on toiletries and there are about twelve different "useful lists" floating around my living room. Over the next month I should have lots of updates, hopefully some helpful and mildly witty ones. But since I'm currently killing time in St Pancras awaiting my train to gay Paris, I thought I'd try and offer some packing advise. 

The general rule of thumb for packing (that every experienced backpacker everywhere will repeat to you) is to lay out everything you want to take, then halve it. This always holds true but there are always some items you'd never want to do without. 

St Pancras International

And so, triumphantly, I present to you my top five list of things I'd never want to do without on a trip! Enjoy!

1. Moisturizer and deodorant- you'd think these would be things you could pick up anywhere if you left them behind but a lot of deodorants and skincare products you'll purchase overseas include irritants you won't be used to and  offer "whitening" properties. i.e Bleach. So unless a patchy white face and underarms is the look you're going for, best to take your favorite brands from home.

2. An extra padlock- if you don't bring one Murphy's Law says you'll almost certainly will lose yours or acquire a second bag or encounter a locker that your first one doesn't fit on. Particularly useful if you're taking long bus or train trips in slightly dodgy company where you may nod off at some point. You can lock your daypack to the seat or you belt buckle or whatever else. Not going to stop a determined thief but it will stop an opportunist.

3. Posh clothes - unless you're on an actual trek or climbing Everest or some such malarkey, you're almost certainly going to want to go out to bars or a nice dinner or show or even just wander through a city centre. And you're not going to want to do that in your skeezy sneakers and a souvenir beer vest. I'm not saying take your old prom dress or a suit but a nice shirt or cute dress and clean shoes will be invaluable.

Bonus general clothes rule: if you'd be embarrassed to walk down the high street in it back home, you're not going to feel comfortable in it overseas.

4. Umbrella or rain jacket- as a general guide, if you'll be spending most of your time in cities go with the umbrella. If you're more likely to be roughing it, go with the rain jacket. Or both! Easily purchased overseas but the first time you realize you need one (i.e it's chucking it down) they'll either be exorbitantly overpriced or nowhere to be found.

5. A smartphone- hands down the number one thing you don't want to do without. Yes they're expensive, yes it would totally suck to lose it but get some insurance and bring it anyway. It's an all in one phone, train timetable, trashy novel, guidebook, room/ticket booker and translator! If you're spending more than a week in any country where you don't speak the language I highly recommend getting the relevant "lingopal" app, which is a translator tool. The "light" versions don't cost a penny and the full versions are less than a quid. These bad boys have saved my life on multiple occasions. My new favourite app in the world is Tripit, which lets me directly import itineraries, booking numbers, confirmation emails, etc into one easy to manage location. Not only that, it also creates maps to the various locations I have to go and can give me weather updates. Absolutely fab. 

(Note: if you do follow my advise and end up relying on your phone to manage all this, don't forget the charger. You'll look mighty stupid)

Other things to check out: 

• If you're looking for specific advise on packing lists for a "hardcore" backpacker trip, Travel Independent is always a good place to start and this page in particular will help.
• If you're "flashpacking" and are looking for suggestions that are more fashion minded I thought this article was great. 
• If you're starting a student exchange, this site would be a good place to start. 

(Dear people from the future - if any of these links stop functioning, let me know and I'll replace/delete them)

Days like these

   -

Stepping outside today, it was hard to believe that summer could be almost over. After weeks of rain, horrible flooding, hailstorms and enough cloudy, overcast days to make me want to cry, today has just been a blessing. A day like today rates up there with fresh pasta and Jane Austen and boys in waistcoats and dress shoes. Having only just come back from Thailand (thereby relegating myself to the very low end of the poverty bracket) I should of course be entirely too used to sunny days, but having a couple here at home is just so special. Even the hardened traveller should be able to appreciate a good thing, and I've never been one to not make the most of days like these. 
Long rambling walks with the boy, coffees at Pink Lane, fresh flowers in the house and dramatic, fervid arguments with myself about whether I really need to go back to a full time job. But with Leeds festival and Northampton coming up, I can only pray that this weather holds for just a few more weeks. Pretty please? I'll be really, really good. 

Insta-Newcastle II

So... Thailand

So Thailand, I hear you've decided to rain on my holiday. To trap everyone indoors with only the hum of the air conditioner and crackly CNN for company. In fact, you know what else I've heard, Thailand? I've heard you don't want us here. It's the only logical explanation for all this. I bet that's why you've made boat trips and beach visits pointless and swimming dangerous. I think you're bored of us already, Thailand, and you just want us to go home and cry. 

Is that right, Thailand, huh? Is that what you really think? 

Well guess what Thailand! Screw you! Screw you and your mama because we're going to have fun anyway! We're going to get soaked and ride in tuk tuks and argue with shop owners about whether or not we should be allowed to stand under their awnings! We're going to watch the State of Origin with a cold cider and a crowd of screaming Aussies (go the Blues, by the way). We'll take long, scenic day trips and make use of every patch of sun we get. We'll take overnight trains and avoid any mention of ping pong at all costs. We'll clamber through trees and do battle with food poisoning and maybe even win. Because that's what we came here to do. 

And even on the days when it's clear that the rain has won and the day seems wasted, we'll still enjoy ourselves. We'll drink overpriced coffees and convince friendly drivers to take us across town for a fraction of the cost because it's the nice thing to do and we'll be trapped otherwise. Maybe we'll see shows or go walk in the wet sand. We'll write long emails to family, create inventive facebook posts and seriously consider getting tailored suits. You never know. Because as moronic (but cheap) as it may be to go to Thailand in the rainy season, we're still having the time of our lives. Because that's what we came here to do. We're awesome like that.

Barcelona for beginners - Five travel tips for novices

It's fine and dandy to blog about abstract concepts and vague themes but us travel bloggers are occasionally obligated to return to the actual basis of our expertise and blog about an actual place that we've actually been to. After all, we can't expect you readers to live vicariously through us if we're not actually going anywhere. And so, to Barcelona I went.

Were I a braver soul, my flight may have involved me annoying fellow passengers with football chants (Barcelona FC style) and attempting to converse with EasyJet's very British staff in Spanish, such was my excitement. However, shy and retiring wallflower that I am, I contented myself with an imported Frankie mag and the conversation of my travel buddy. After all, wannabe Geordie I am but wannabe Geordie Shore I will never be. 

A Spanish holiday tends to end up being either a glorified art gallery tour or a foodie/wino's dream of sangria and paella. I attempted to mix both together and it all ended up a bit higgledy piggledy. Trust me, if you're not absolututely obsessed with Gaudi; craning your neck to stare at his buildings does get old eventually. 

And so, for the average joe travellers of the world: Here's my guide to enjoying Barcelona.

1. Try and stay relatively close to the city centre as the metro and buses are going to cost you two euro each time you step on and a long walk can be a miserably hot affair. We stayed at Ona Barcelona which, whilst being a liiiitle noisy and a bit boring, was in a brilliant location, had very friendly staff and was absolutely, spotlessly clean. I definitely recommend staying on the fifth floor if you can where it's hotter, but much quieter. The showers on our floor (and really the bathrooms in general) were the best I've ever come across in a hostel. Ever.

Ever the Work-In-Progress: Gaudi's Sagrada Familia

2. Pick and choose your Gaudi carefully. The buildings are lovely, the church is lovely, the park is lovely, but after a while it will all start to seem a bit sameish and frankly garish. With costs of entry being around 15-20 euros, I'd hate to see you all bored by him. I recommend the park, which is free and makes for a nice bit of exercise if you've been ordering one too many tapas dishes for your table. The others can all be happily viewed from the outside without feeling you've missed out on something significant. Of course, when doing anything outdoors in Barcelona: be prepared to feel like you're in the middle of a friggin dust storm.

3. Practice your Spanish, but be prepared for some scathing looks. Still brimming with pride from last year's very successful South American trip, I felt my basic spanish should at least be up to par for ordering food. Yeah, turns out not. It wasn't pretty. I still maintain it's far better to try and fail, but unlike many other countries where attempting the language gets you smiles of appreciation, here it seemed more to annoy. So feel free just to point to things on the menu and save yourself the embarrassment, but try not to resort to too much English. At least remember to say por favor and gracias. It's quite literally the least you can do.

4. Explore the Gothic Quarter. Hands down, this was my favourite part of the whole trip. All those tiny alleyways, all those beautiful boutiques, all those quirky folks and eyebrow raising artworks. Absolutely darling. Fab. Spend an afternoon there if you can and seek out La Clandestina when you're ready for a tea/coffee/fresh juice break. Best cafe in the whole city. I won't tell you exactly where it is because I truly can't remember. Right at the green door, left at the ruin and past the tattoo parlour I think? Or was it left at the museum? Whatever, I'm sure you'll find it... eventually. 

5. Ask first, order later. The Santa Caterina Market is definitely worth your time, if only to check out the ruins beneath before heading on to the Chocolate Museum (Best museum idea ever, by the way. I mean, you get to eat the entry ticket!) but watch out for those wily fruit sellers. Make sure you ask how much something is first even if it's labelled. Otherwise you'll have it wrapped and bagged with your money already changing hands before you'll find out it's suddenly ten euros for a tiny punnet of raspberries. Good luck getting your change back at that point.